Affinitas

5 Things I Hate About You: The (surprising) slip-ups ruining American first dates

Press Release   •   May 20, 2016 10:12 CEST

Five surprising first date faux-pas

Wearing a suit and tie 

Americans like nice-but-casual dates – so much so that wearing a suit and tie is deemed as much of a first date fashion faux-pas as turning up in active wear. In fact 83% of Americans would prefer to go for a casual coffee on a first date (no suit and tie necessary!).

Taking pictures of your meal

Bad news for fans of the Hefe filter: taking photos of your food is definitely off-putting. In fact it’s considered even worse than common dating deal-breakers like not offering to split the bill! Eat the food, don’t photograph it.

Getting out your selfie stick during dinner

It might be wise to forget your camera altogether, as mid-date selfies are also frowned upon. Indeed, hated by men in particular (12% consider this a deal breaker), selfies are an even bigger first date sin than not tipping!

Listening carefully to your dates stories

68% of Americans would rather their date spoke too much on first meeting. So those who think you need to be a good listener on a date can take a sigh of relief – chat away!

Adding your date on Facebook

You should wait before sending that friend request: 1 in 5 American singles would be put off of a second date with someone who immediately added them on social media, men more so than women.

The dating no-nos that aren’t as bad as you think

Being a bad kisser

A tiny 3% of American singles consider being a bad kisser a deal breaker, making it a far more minor offence than any of the deal breakers above.

Not tipping

Americans are usually pretty adament about tipping (and there are plenty of studies sugesting that people would dump their date for not doing it) but surprisingly our survey revealed that a tiny 5% of respondents consider it a deal breaker, making it one of the lowest on the list!

Should I stay or should I go now: how to get out of a bad date

Do deal-breakers matter? Considering that 74% of Americans surveyed would be prepared to end a date early over a deal-breaker (and that 32% have already done so), the answer is most likely yes.

The most common way to escape a bad date? For most it’s fairly straight-forward. Indeed, Americans don’t like the convoluted exit strategies so beloved of romantic movies and sitcoms; rather than a fake illness or phone call, 71% of singles would simply opt for the truth.

EliteSingles psychologist, Salama Marine, has these words of wisdom for anyone needing to leave a date early:

‘Rejection hurts. No matter how kindly or carefully it’s done; it will always hurt. Ending a date with someone prematurely, or pointing out their physical and social flaws, is damaging to their ego. What’s more, it can also harm their self esteem and result in feelings of insecurity and low confidence. In this study, the majority of people admitted that they would tell the truth about why they wanted to leave a date early, instead of making up an excuse. This is fair enough; you shouldn’t have to stay on an awkward date for hours with a stranger if you don’t want to. But it is important to choose your words carefully; you need to show your date that you do respect them and consider them an equal, despite not feeling romantically attracted to them. There’s no need to be unnecessarily hurtful or mean; you simply need to explain that you cannot picture yourself romantically with them and that you feel your personalities aren’t matched. If your date insists on more information; feel free to continue explaining your reasoning in a nice way; this could even be productive and help them improve their dating skills in future.’

For more information on this study, see here - https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/deal-breakers

Elitesingles (Affinitas GmbH)

Designed for singles seeking a committed, long-term relationship, our matchmaking products are the ultimate antidote for those tired of flings and short-term romances. With a focus on providing quality introductions, we use an extensive personality test and partner questionnaire to connect like-minded singles. We strive to create a safe space for our users and set ourselves apart from the competition by manually checking all new user profiles.

Operating in more than 25 countries around the world, Affinitas has become one of the world´s leading enterprises in online dating, uniting over 13 million singles looking for a long-term relationship. We are proud to have brought love to singles across the globe; every month we help as many as 5000 singles find love with compatible partners- and that number continues to grow as we do!