GUIDE TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE- The London Mint Office

Respect

Showing each other respect is one of the most important factors to achieve a happy marriage, according to 73% of the 2,000 people involved in the study. Interestingly there is a female bias, with 78% of women believing mutual respect is of paramount important, while for men the need is seen as slightly lower, at 67%.

Overall the younger generation put less emphasis on respect, with just 66% of 18-34 year olds citing it as essential for a happy marriage, versus 76% of those over 55 years of age recognise its importance. People in Manchester value respect more than any other city (79%) and Leeds the least (66%).

Ted and Doris Box, who live in Essex, have been married over 70 years and they agree with the study findings, saying: “Respect and trust are key in marriage.”

Having a laugh together

Maintaining a shared sense of humour is the next area identified as key in order for a marriage to succeed. The importance of sharing light-hearted moments together, developing “in-the-know” private jokes while over-riding life’s ups and downs is cited by 70% of those involved in the study as necessary for a successful marriage, as a coping strategy. Interestingly, this shared sense of humour and camaraderie is more important to women than men, at 77% versus 63%.

The region with the least interest in laughter, is London, with just 58% of Londoners believing in its importance for a happy and successful marriage, Glasgow meanwhile puts the most emphasis on laughter at 78%.

Ted and Doris say: “For 70 years we have always taken part in many of the same pastimes, dancing, bowls and holidays, enjoying our time together.”

June Bancroft, who lives in Cheshire with her husband of 70 years, Geoff, says of him: “I love that he is a joker. Not a day has gone by in 70 years together that he hasn't made me laugh. Once met he's never forgotten - by everyone he meets.”

Problem Sharing

The old saying “a problem shared, is a problem halved” still rings true today, with 67% of people believing the ability to share a problem is necessary for a successful marriage. A good indicator of trust levels and transparency within a couple, problem sharing is an indicator of success for 67% of people. There is a bit of variance between the male and female view, with 71% of women believing in the power of problem sharing, versus 63% of men.

Couples in Plymouth (79%) and in the West Midlands (73%) are the most likely to share openly, while Brighton couples are the least likely (61%).

Geoff and June Bancroft say: “We have supported each other through good times and bad times, climbed a lot of mountains, paddled through the dark time, but always ended back on top.”

Limited Edition Platinum Anniversary Coin

The London Mint Office limited edition coin is issued free of charge, as a gift to the nation, to mark the first royal Platinum Wedding Anniversary. The Platinum Wedding Anniversary coin proudly displays the iconic image of the royal couple on their wedding day which has been taken from the archives of the National Portrait Gallery, struck to Proof quality. The coin features the famous comment made by the Queen at the time of her Golden Wedding Anniversary, describing her husband as her ‘strength and stay’. The back of the coin shows a portrait of the Queen created by British and Commonwealth coin designer Raphael Maklouf. A free copy of the London Mint Office study findings is included with every coin ordered. The special commemorative coin is available from the London Mint Office FREE (+£2.50 postage) exclusively from www.freeweddingcoin.com or by calling free on 0808 123 70 70.

Commenting at the launch of the coin, Journalist and Royal Correspondent, Jennie Bond, said “Over the years, I have witnessed and reported on many important royal milestones from a very close range. As we celebrate the Queen’s 70 years of marriage to Prince Philip I am proud to reveal the London Mint Office’s beautifully crafted coin, a gift to the nation. It captures the Queen and Prince Philip, on their wedding day, a true symbol of romance for our modern day and provides us with a wonderful way of commemorating the first royal wedding to last 70 years.”

The Guide

For all those wishing to emulate the longevity of the Queen’s marriage, here are more findings to guide the path to a successful and happy marriage:

Patience

In the initial flush of wedding excitement, patience might not be seen as a key requisite to sustain the happy partnership with an adoring partner - however the stats say differently.

Patience is cited as imperative within a successful marriage by 64% of people. Women seem to require more patience with their partners, at 68%, versus just 61% of men. The younger generation is less likely to realise the importance of patience, with just 57% of 18-34 year olds saying it is importance, versus 67% of all other age groups.

The East Midlands is the area that most prioritises patience (73%), followed by Nottingham (72%), while Newcastle is the lowest at 52%.

Ted and Doris Box, celebrating their Platinum Wedding Anniversary this year, say: “You need to try and see things from the other person’s point of view, and we find we need more patience with one another as we get older.”

Edward and Lilias Stanbrook-Evans who live in Norfolk and also married in 1947, add: “Patience is absolutely the secret ingredient to a successful marriage.”

Holidays Together

The good news for the more independent traveller, is that holidaying together is not necessarily a deal-breaker. Just 42% of people believe it is a key indicator of marriage success. Delving deeper, 3% of people say holidaying apart is best for marriage longevity and success.

Couples in Southampton are the least interested in holidaying with their spouse (34%), versus the West Midlands (52%).

A Kiss A Day

Physical contact, simply sharing a kiss each day, is a simple way of ensuring a long and happy marriage according to 27% of the 2,000 people involved in the survey.

If you want to enjoy a kiss every day, Liverpool is the city to be in, according to 41% of couples there. Sheffield couples are the least likely to kiss every day, just 17% enjoy a daily kiss.

Ted and Doris agree, Ted says: “For us it has been especially important to kiss first thing in the morning and last thing at night.”

Platinum Wedding Anniversary celebrant Isaac Clement from Lancashire, comments about life with his wife Margaret: “When we go to bed at night I always ask her to give me a kiss! That will never alter.”

Saying “I Love You”

Those three little words are known to have the power to make (or break) a relationship, so it’s no surprise that 24% of people believe these words should be said daily to survive all of life’s up and downs. Sheffield couples are the least likely to say “I love you” each day (16%), while Liverpudlians are the most romantic with 38% of couples saying the magic words each day.

Ted says: “We say it often enough, though not every day – but is she doesn’t know I love her by now…?!”.

Isaac and Margaret comment: “The recipe for a long and happy marriage is to say ‘I love you’ every day.”

Having Children

While having children together has traditionally been seen as the cornerstone of a successful marriage, marriage today does not require becoming a parent to ensure its longevity. In fact just 18% of people believe children are a prerequisite for a long and happy marriage. The surprise however is that men cite children as more important than women, with 21% of men versus 16% of women believing having children is key for marriage success.

Regionally the South-East is the least interested in children within a successful marriage, with Plymouth and Southampton at just 14% London at 15%

Bolstering Confidence

Acting as cheerleader for your partner, by complimenting them on their appearance throughout the marriage is imperative for 17% of the British public. Men are more likely to prioritise compliment-giving, with 19% of men telling their partner they look attractive, “even when they don’t”, while just 15% of women compliment their partner regularly.

Belfast and Yorks & Humber are the areas where you are least likely to get a compliment on your appearance (11%), while the East Midlands is the most likely at 23%.

Date Nights

The concept of ‘date night’ may still be seen as an American influence, but it’s now believed by 19% of Britons as key to marriage success. 25% of women believe in couple date nights, while just 13% of men are willing participants in dinner dates with their partner. Younger couples are more likely to embrace the idea at 31%, while just 9% of those over 55 years are keen to spend one-on-one time as a couple.

Bristol couples are the least interested in ‘date nights’ at just 8%, but Glasgow couples enjoy them the most with 29% of couples prioritising this type of quality time as part of their marriage.

The Last Word

All of the Platinum Wedding Anniversary celebrants we spoke to for the report have wonderful stories about how they met and what keeps the spark going for 70 years. They, like the Queen and Prince Philip are a true inspiration. The last, heart-warming words come from Geoff Bancroft who says: “We have been together since we first met, I loved her from that first moment. I was 12 and I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. We have had the best 70 years of marriage and we love each more everyday”.