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Esmerelda's got the XFactor..?

Blog post   •   Oct 09, 2013 19:36 BST

Hello peasants.

This is my third blog.  Actually this is my fifth time writing it because some woman in marketing department thought it was too offensive to the ‘celebrities’.  Yes, peasants, I have been censored, just like Ryan Gigg’s ex-girlfriend, there’s some things I can’t write – however, face to face is a different matter, I shall wait until Thursday, I’d be there to witness it if I were you.  To be honest I didn’t want to write one today anyway, because I was watching Rip Off Britain with my Creatures.  It’s a fascinating programme.  Not least for the sight of watching the three presenters doddering across the screen pretending to be still relevant.  I said to Ethel (one of my creatures), why didn’t they bow out in the eighties with dignity?  They could have been holidaying in Tenerifee with Judith Chalmers and Wincy Willis by now.  Anyway,  Susan was going on about changing the channel so he could watch Homes under the Hammer and  said I had to write a blog. I got bored of his (and Gloria Hunniford’s) whining voice so here it is.   

Apparently there’s some X Factor people and a fellow celeb coming on Thursday.  X Factor is something me and my nurses already have, though some would describe it as XXX Factor.  Beat that Tom Mann and Giles Potter.  Apparently they’ve been tweeting about how they’re getting lots of attention from girls, well not this one boys, you’ll need more than a tuneful warble and a dramatic sob story to get my attention.  I’m more of a smoke machine and screams in the darkness kind of girl.  I wonder how Sharon met Ozzy?  Anyway, let’s see if they match up to my definition of ‘talent’. 

The other personage turning up is ‘Lil Chris’ who apparently will be Ch Ch Ch Checking Me Out…  Just a quick lesson in life for you Lil Chris – no woman wants to meet a man with the prefix ‘Little’. 

Loose Women’s on now, so that’s all I have to say on the matter.

Until the next time peasants.

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