Well, blog number 5 is here, and it’s all about the imbeciles that turn up to Shocktober Fest and demand my attention.
First thing that happened was some film crew turned up and (obviously) wanted me on camera to boost their ratings. Of course, being a staunch professional, I obliged and turned their little programme into something worth watching. After using up quite a lot of my valuable time it turned out it was some bloke who’s got a famous brother, making a home video for the interweb. He apparently does it from his bedroom, but he wasn’t going to get me near there, try as he might. There was some bint with him too, I’ve no idea why she bothered.
Anyway, the PR woman says that I have to say “how lovely it was to spend an evening with Jack Maynard and Elana Di Troya and how witty and fun they were. Also, Elana’s fashion tips were splendid.” But you know what I think of the PR woman. This is yet another run-in and she’s on thin ice. Who on earth spells Kylie with a double ‘E’ anyway? Idiot.
Anyway, after wasting my time on those two on Thursday, last night (Friday) a crew from Heart Sussex and Surrey Radio turned up, thrust a microphone in my face and wanted my dulcet tones broadcast across the airways. Apparently they were Jack the Lad, Tom Evans and Nicola Hume. Jack looked tired. He’s apparently more of a morning person. Or perhaps he’d been drinking heavily… Probably the latter.
Anyway, that’s all from me today as I have a blind date in Crawley with a man who will apparently be wearing red. Susan (who’s set it all up) says he’s a real devil. (more on this in my next blog). Susan’s new obsession is for me to meet a man. He’s even trying to set up a zombie speed dating night at Shocktober Fest. It’s only because he wants to wear a bridesmaids dress. I can’t see there being anyone in my league in Crawley though. Perhaps Susan will meet a pleasant (if a bit desperate and unattractive) lady who will forgive his awkwardness and obsession with the ladies in customer service.
Until the next time, peasants,