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Press Release   •   Aug 20, 2015 02:29 EDT

The Gold Saucer isn’t doing nearly as well as it once was, and it’s starting to show. We’ve now removed designated smoking sections from it so the entire area has barely breathable air. We’ve also added NPCs who are 70+ (and addicted to pachinko so you’ll never get your turn), and added an NPC who sells heavily breaded chocobo wings. Unless circulation picks up, we’ll have to add a red light district and yes, Lalafells will cost double for a ZJ.
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The Churning Mists and Northern Thanalan have run out of FATEs. Twin-tongued Addison and Darkscale have given up.

When you active the Haukke Manor Harpsichord, it now accurately plays all of the songs that you know how to play (basically, it plays the opening to “Chopsticks”)

You can now desynth food. It’s actually kind of sad that it took your character this look to realize that all they have to do is take the food off of the plate and it’s been successfully desynthesized.

The moogles have been so overjoyed with all of their tedious chores being done that they’ve all taken a break and copulated. Every moogle now has a seemingly endless sea of chores available to you (it’s basically babysitting), and all the babies ALSO have chores as well (change my diaper. 200 gil reward). The most common feedback we received this patch was “We want to ki__ every moogle we see (the letters were smudged with tears of apparent joy) and we assumed the missing word was “kiss” or “kindly take care of forever”.

The Thavnarian Bustier now comes with a tramp stamp added on because we noticed a theme in what people wanted to see out of their Miqotes.

We’ve put the Alexander soundtrack on an even shorter loop SINCE EVERYONE LOVED IT SO MUCH, and just went ahead and replaced the A4 soundtrack with “Chop Suey” because we know that 6th grade came rushing back to you every time you heard that song anyway.

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