A four step approach to meet love

Lemarc Thomas, The Matchmaking Agency is excited to share our evidence-based, tried and tested method to meet love.

In summary, this is what it’s all about - a four-pronged approach to deep loving relationships: 1. Unravel your roots and become aware of what you have learnt about love; 2. Living your life according your values; 3. Understanding true compatibility; 4. Being open to love.

People come to us, Matchmakers, to find their 'perfect match', but we want to help you meet love. The boring kind of love that is safe, secure, healthy and sustainable. From which, there is a stable foundation for adventure, excitement, exploration, pain, growth and a shared future combining individual dreams and desires. This kind of love is not just about two people, it exists within you, how you live your life and all the people in it.

We present a philosophy not only of how to meet love but how to live a life of love.

This is the basis of our holistic matchmaking, coaching and introductions service that we deliver to high profile clients around the world.

As the founder of our matchmaking agency, the approach has come together after years learnings (with many beautiful success stories, some painful mistakes and everything in between). I studied Psychology, worked in psychological trauma for 5 years and have been working with Relationships for the last 8. I do not work as a Psychologist nor as a therapist, I am a Matchmaking Expert and Relationship Coach.

Our philosophy is grounded in Attachment Theory, taking wisdom from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Schema Therapy, Interpersonal Neurobiology, Mindfulness, Happiness and Leadership Research, Performance Coaching and, of course, many many personal and professional experiences.

We call this Roots to Love:

1. Unravel your roots and become aware of what you have learnt about love: The first step is about understanding how your earliest experiences of receiving love has shaped who you are and how you love. Going back to the kid you once were (and the kid who’s still in there) and feeling which learnings where helpful and which were not so helpful, so that you can start relearning. When you are in touch with that inner child, you can also understand your underlying emotional needs and rather than waiting for someone else to fulfil them, you can learn how to fulfil your own needs. Being in a healthy space for a relationship means owning and making sense of your previous experiences so that they are integrated as one whole.
2. Living your life, by your values: Rather than being ‘in waiting’ for the right relationship to come along, you have to live the you’re dreaming of now. Part of this is understanding your core values and living your life according to those values, taking conscious action towards your purpose.
3. Understanding true compatibility: When looking at compatibility we want you to turn your partner selection process upside down: First know your fundamental requirements in a relationship and use these as your ‘gateway criteria’ rather than being led by one’s sexy allure. Second, know your emotional and practical needs in a relationship and how to get them fulfilled. And finally, allowing the other ‘ideals’ necessary for excitement or commonality to be discovered rather than sought.
4. Being open to love: Being open to love means being in loving communities where you meet love and that holds love. In this community you must practise being your most attractive self – when you are completely, utterly, authentically you. The energy that is your core authentic self takes no effort, but it radiates. This is where you are not adapting yourself but instead being your full rainbow, where all the colours of who you are, are in harmony.

This is our best strategy to find love and our philosophy of how to live a life of love.

This blog is an edited extract of an article posted on the Lemarc Thomas blog.