Why your SMSes, Whatsapp and MSN messages turn girls off

Men (and women) who are not successful in dating use factual words and style of talking when they SMS the opposite sex. These topics do not elicit emotions from ladies,, and basically makes it feel like "work" talking to them. I explain why this happens, and how to solve it. I use the male pronoun. But it applies equally to single ladies.

And these single men wonder how come they are not attracting ladies.The root of the problem is that these guys do not have a flirting mentality. They treat girls very formally, like an acquaintance, or like a customer.

Raymond (Corporate Honcho)

For example, my client called Raymond is a very corporate honcho kind. HIs work consist of sending lots of emails to sue people, and have nasty fights in court. A typical sentence from him sounds like this, "My day is terrible. I got these two litigation cases that needs to be resolved by next Tuesday, and my workers are driving me up the wall again!"

It is OK for him to talk to me like this, but he also talks to girls in the same tone! Talking to ladies in such a formal, aggressive tone will only cause them to feel formal with you. And attraction does not happen in such a formal environment.

Typical Nice Guy

Another client of mine is the typical nice guy. He feels that teasing girls, or making fun of them is only for "bad" boys, and he is not used to it.

His SMSes were full of "nice words" that were meant to comfort the girl, do things for her or buy stuff for her. Although he thinks he is being nice, what the girl perceives is that he is needy.

For example: "O you are at Bugis? I am at Jurong now, but can go there and meet you for lunch if you want to"

"You are not feeling well? Better go see doctor. Do you want me to accompany you?"

These SMSes are screaming NEEDY. Stop it if you are doing it.

Bernard the Boring

The last example is another client called Bernard who is handsome, matured and financially stable. Then why does he not have a girlfriend? Bernard is one of the most boring person I know. His SMSes are all dead end, meaning that it is very difficult for the girl to reply. 

"Hi Ying, Im fine too. Nice to meet you at that event."

My comment: Erm, what do you want the girl to respond?

"Hey Laura, you have whatsapp? Cool, now we can talk anytime."

My comment: Dont say we can talk anytime. Just start chatting!

In part 2 of this series, we shall look at how to flirt with SMSes.