Lovability? A bath and a laugh

• While a GSOH is always a winner, one in 10 Brits think having a bath will make them more lovable
• One in three think we love our partner more than they love us
• One in three believe other couples are more in love than we are
• Fewer than seven in 10 of us are faithful
• One in 10 men think a key ingredient for love is ‘having a great body’- and one in five men say ‘ I love you’ within a week

Spring is here, love is in the air, and baths across the land are filling up.  Research by Costa has found that while a sense of humour is deemed our most loveable characteristic, one in ten think we can make ourselves more loveable by having a bath.

As Britain continues its love affair with coffee despite economic hard times, the nation’s favourite coffee shop* thought it was the right time to ask Brits for their views on affairs of the heart.

More than half (52%) say a GSOH is what attracted them to their partner, ranking it just above good looks (47%) and kindness (41%), which may come in handy for coping with more startling findings. Namely, one in three of us believe other couples are more in love than we are, while the same number also think we love our partner more than they love us.  Moreover, almost a third of us are not completely loyal to our partners, while one in four don’t believe our relationship will last forever, nor mean “I love you” every time we say it.

How funny, then, that honesty is viewed as the key ingredient for love, closely followed by trust, respect and good communication – although ‘a great body’ is important to get love cooking for one  in 10 men. The latter may be among the 14% who tell their partners they love them within the first week of their relationship: twice as many men as women do this, while women are twice as likely to wait until it’s said to them first.

To get back in the good books when we’ve upset our beloved, it seems we also stick to stereotype: women are 1.5 times more likely to apologise, while men are twice as likely to buy flowers, and three times as likely to take them to dinner.

Judi James, one of the country’s leading body language and behaviour experts, said of the findings**:

“Laughter has massive benefits in our high-pressure world. It is one of the best antidotes to stress, meaning a GSOH partner can actually be good for your health, allowing you to see work problems in context and diminishing the importance of everyday annoyances.

“It seems that we are increasingly insecure lovers with low expectations in terms of fidelity and this could have been affected by the celebrity culture where we are force-fed a constant diet of plot-lines or real-life betrayals and affairs, lowering our own expectations of one love for life.

“Our key seduction technique is gratifyingly basic: Brits still believe that a good old bath will make us instantly adorable, meaning that despite all the modern devices that are supposed to find us a mate we’re still firmly in touch with our more basic animal instincts.”

The research into love and lovability comes as Costa is once again named the nation’s most loved coffee shop*. Our morning coffee is second only to a text from our loved one as the little thing we love most about in our everyday life, viewing it as an affordable luxury and what we need to get us going.

Further interesting findings include:

• Most people (36%) have loved two people in their lives – but almost the same number (34%) say they’ve only loved their current partner
• 4% have never been in love
• One in four think they can make themselves more loveable by wearing nice clothes
• Almost a third of men don’t mean ‘I love you’ every time  they say it, compared to one in four women
• 48% think the best age to fall in love is between 18 and 25
• 7% of people think a key ingredient of love is being rich
• One in 10 think variety is the spice of life, whatever their relationship status
• 14% say they feel suffocated when they’re in a relationship for a long time
• 15% more women rate trust as a key ingredient to love
• The best season for love is the summer (36%)
• More than one in five say their morning coffee is one of the little things they love most in their everyday life. Of those, a third say it’s because it is their ‘affordable luxury’

For a daily chance to win Costa coffee vouchers throughout the month of March, answer the nation’s favourite questions on Costa Coffee’s Facebook page: www.facebook.com/CostaCoffee

ABOUT THE SURVEY:

The survey was carried out in February 2012 among 3,000 UK adults in a relationship.

**Judi James’ full comment on the findings:

“Given that so many people are currently searching for love, falling love and even conducting much of their romancing on-line or via text, transactional skills like having the ability to make someone laugh will be guaranteed to win out as the most loveable characteristic as it is the only trait that can survive new technology intact.

“In a world where muscles and strength count for less than they would for our ancestors, comics are the new Alphas, with the likes of James Corden, Russell Brand and Michael Macintyre taking over as the modern woman’s Mr Darcy or Heathcliff. Humour has its attractions in terms of both power and sexual displays. On the one hand it is an attack tool, cutting anyone down in size in the space of a few words, plus the amount of confidence and intellect displayed by someone who is truly quick-witted can make them more sexually attractive than a more physically beautiful person. We might admire and gaze at beauty but it’s the funny person who will sustain our interest and passion throughout a long-term relationship that is for life.

“Laughter has massive benefits in our high-pressure world too. It is one of the best antidotes to stress, meaning a GSOH partner can actually be good for your health, allowing you to see work problems in context and diminishing the importance of everyday annoyances. Whereas dating a beautiful, physically-desirable partner can come with its own headaches of jealousy or keeping other rivals at bay, (which in the animal kingdom would have meant regular fights over ownership), we might subliminally be attracted to the GSOH partner because they could extend our lives by making us more relaxed, confident and healthier.

“Having said that it also seems that we are increasingly insecure lovers with low expectations in terms of fidelity and this could have been affected by the celebrity culture. When celebrities are in love they always portray it with high-intensity passion rituals, meaning we watch their PDAs and feel our own love affairs are less dramatic and more mundane. We see fewer long-term, mature relationships with high levels of things like companionate love but we are force-fed a constant diet of plot-lines or real-life betrayals and affairs, lowering our own expectations of one love for life.

“Our key seduction technique is gratifyingly basic: despite being immersed in the culture of Botox, liposuction, fake tans, high fashion and cosmetic surgery Brits still believe that a good old bath will make us instantly adorable, meaning that despite all the modern devices that are supposed to find us a mate we’re still firmly in touch with our more basic animal instincts. For an animal smell is one of the prime attractors and smelling fresh and naturally agreeable would imply good health and therefore good breeding stock.”

For further information, please contact:

Jane Dutton (or email jdutton@paratuscommunications.com) or Lisa Church (or email lchurch@paratuscommunications.com) on 0207 404 6691.