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Teenage Cretins emerge blinking from their parents' garage

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Teenage Cretins emerge blinking from their parents' garage

The label that brought you teenage terrorists like Thee Vicars and Archie and the Bunkers are proud to announce the latest batch of sons we never wanted: The Cretins.

The Cretins are a Brighton/South London based 4-piece band, four friends coming together to blend their own brand of snotty garage punk, rock ‘n’ roll, and pounding rhythm & blues, gelled together by harmonising vocals and an energetic live presence. They take inspiration from the sounds of legendary groups such as The Kinks, Pretty Things, The Gruesomes, The Strypes & The Masonics to name but a few immortalising the music with their own inspired individual tastes.



Having originally formed early 2018 as a trio, The Cretins have already boasted appearances at events such as Beatwave, The Brighton Tattoo Convention and supported The X-Men, The Masonics, The Courettes, and King Salami and the Cumberland Three.



"Haven’t Got A Clue" is their debut single, the product of the band's maturity into songwriting. It is but a taster of things to come for one the freshest group to break into the scene in ages.

DON'T MISS THEIR DEBUT LONDON GIG AT THE FINSBURY PUB, IN SUPPORT OF LES BOF!'S ALBUM LAUNCH ON SATURDAY 8 JUNE!

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The Dirty Water Club started in October 1996 in the Tufnell Park neighbourhood of north London, at a venue called The Boston. The club's name is derived from The Standells' 1966 hit 'Dirty Water' which glorifies the US city of Boston, Massachusetts.

Past performers have included The White Stripes (voted by Q Magazine as one of the top 10 gigs of all time, Mojo one of the top 30 and Kerrang one of the top 100!), The Gories, Country Teasers, Black Lips, NOBUNNY, Kid Congo Powers, The Fleshtones, Billy Childish, Radio Birdman, The Dirtbombs, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, The 5.6.7.8's, The Horrors and The Brian Jonestown Massacre to name just a few. The club has also seen some original '60s performers, such as The Monks, ? and the Mysterians, Kim Fowley, Sky Saxon, GONN, Michael Davis of the MC5 and more grace its stage.

Their in-house record label, Dirty Water Records, is one of the leading garage/beat/(real) R&B labels in the world.

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Matt Hunter

Matt Hunter

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